


lost her grip

by CreativeUsermeme



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Drabbles, F/F, Gen, Pre-Sgrub, SGRUB, Suicidal Thoughts, alternatively vriska did everything wrong ever and i hate her, vriska did nothing wrong ever and i love her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 05:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11396148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreativeUsermeme/pseuds/CreativeUsermeme
Summary: or: how one cerulean blood manages to somehow cause everything wrong, and she's all too aware





	lost her grip

vriska serket has a complicated past.

she was four damn sweeps when her lusus stopped being content with the rats and birds skittering through the canyons and started looking too closely at her when she was resting in an open room. so she did what anyone would. she asked her best friend, terezi, who always knew everything. she'd just said that 1TS N3V3R B33N 4 PROBL3M FOR M3 BUT 1 GU3SS TH4TS C4US3 MY MOMS ST1LL ASL33P, which amounted to very little. she doubts that terezi's lusus is "ASL33P," given that she's never woken up, and that means it's dead, culled, ended, passed on- but vriska doesn't know a lot anymore. she used to be able to kill the rats and bring them to mother and the spider would skitter forward excitedly and chitter happily, or nap between her many legs- eight of them, the best number ever- in the day when she didn't want to go to sleep in her coon. but now she's too uneasy to turn her back on her lusus, let alone get close to her. 

so she trolled her sort of friend eridan, who wasn't very nice, but they liked history and both had really awesome ancestors, and he was okay sometimes. he said that if she wwanted to make her lusus happy then shed havve to hunt like the rest of us did, which didn't make much sense until he said that he'd been killin wwhales for fef for a wwhile now. she knew there weren't any whales in her area. so she found a game that let her draw people in close, spinning her up in a web of charm and lies, until she could snatch them and throw them to mom. it's hard, at first, because these are trolls like her, but she tells herself it's a game. find the food, knock it out, and bring it to mom. it was simple enough.

  
things go fine enough for a few sweeps. then tavros, that infuriating nerd, he never does anything right, he doesn't even deserve to be fed to mom, he's not even good enough for that, but that's what makes her like him because she can't seem to do much right now and even dying for a cause scares her, but this was about tavros, always tavros, never her. she tells him to fly with her mouth and her other voice that spins its way into his brain and covers it in dust and cobwebs until he's hers, and he does. until he falls. inevietable. she will too, she knows it.

  
she doesn't know why she doesn't expect aradia to get revenge. she knows she'd do the same for terezi, she always would, they're the scourge sisters, and they always stay together, so she figures she won't have to ask when the ghosts keep circling in her head and humming under her skin and crawling into her eyes and ears and it's too much so she has to stop it, she has to, and she knows scratch thinks she's right, and he's smarter than she is, so he's right, which means she's right, really.

  
and then terezi, her sister, her best friend, she tattles on her. but it's so much worse, really. her eye might heal, but her trust and heart won't. she'll never trust anyone again. she can't. they were a team, together forever, against the odds- but not, because vriska provided all the luck and all the odds, always- and she betrayed her. she cries until she can't tell what's tearstained and what's bloodstained, and she knows how she's going to get back at that filty traitor, dirty betrayer, worst troll on alternia, the girl she hates so much she couldn't even bring herself to keep terezi alive long enough for a kismessitude. terezi took away everything vriska thought she saw. vriska's going to take away anything terezi can see.

  
poetic justice is sweet, and she can leave that old filthy lowblood to fester in her own wounds, but she can't, not really, even when she tries to get so many bodies she won't have to kill again for nearly three perigrees.

  
and the game starts, and things are terrible. but better. tavros trusts her again, and terezi will at least fight at her side, and she's found a funny little alien to teach to dance. but the peace won't last for long, it never will, so she doesn't even know why she's suprised when aradia, the dirtblood she'd taken care of long ago, decides to beat her to death. vriska had been merciful, compared to this. she can feel her heart desperately trying to beat blood through an empty body, and tavros just can't do it. she doesn't know why. she could.

  
everything's bright and shining and impossible for maybe three nights, or maybe eight, or maybe one, she can't tell anymore, and she's too busy trying to fight a monstrosity of a king with tentacles and night in its eyes and a scream to kill even a god like her to notice when a stupid fucking dog sneaks in.

  
so blame her.

  
terezi does.

  
things on the meteor run tenser and tenser until she has to do something. she doesn't care what. so she corners tavros, the coward, and runs him through with his own weapon, like he couldn't do to her. it's not smooth, like it looks, it's got jagged edges that tear through flesh and cloth and bone until she lets him drop.

  
she waits for somebody to find her, sits on an edge and tries to fall until she realizes it won't matter. so kanaya, the moirail she realizes she never appreciated, but the one she never asked for either, ends up condemning her. she punches her across the face with a white-hot fist and sharp claws, luminescence clinging to her figure like a star, and she regrets everything suddenly if only to imagine the burning rage kanaya's shining pointed at the ones vriska's been hurt by, not her stupid human with her stupid shadow tricks that vriska has never once spied on and looked on in awe.

  
so does all she can to not tuck her tail between her legs and run, and lets terezi find her. she'll get judgement then.

  
and she does.

  
it's quick. it's a spider's leg crushing in a limb, it's a flag being planted in the grass, it's... well, it's a sword to the chest. as literally as possible. she falls backward and almost smiles. she's done now.

(she realizes two sweeps later that her work's not done, it never will be, and it's too late, and she's never good, 8ut may8e she's the hero now)


End file.
